Wednesday, May 4, 2011

rough draft

The Middle Ages was a time of change. Whether it be in invention, religion or architecture.  The feelings about religion were changing drastically, Europeans wanted to take back the holy land.  The crusades were mainly for religious purposes like checking the spread of Islam. The crusades were not for religious purposes.
One non-religious reason for these crusades was to conquer pagan areas. These lands were only in the way of the crusaders as they marched their way to the holy land.  Some crusaders, however, stopped and settled down in the newly conquered areas. These lands consisted of areas from around Constantinople to around Jerusalem.  On the journey there was a spread of culture through food and tradition. Also these religious travelers brought back many types of things that weren’t available in Europe such as textiles from Jerusalem.
A second reason for the crusades was to check the spread of Islam. Which was probably a motive of the pope. This is a religious reason because the Europeans just wanted to keep the Islamic religion out and away from the holy land. One reason the Europeans hated Islam so much was because its belief that god was one single person instead of the trinity. Also it was believed by Islamics that Jesus did not die, but he just ascended into heaven. For these reasons the Christian/Catholic Europeans had to suppress the Islamic religion.
Probably the most important reason for the crusades was for the retaking of the holy land.  This was important because this is where the Catholics believed Jesus was born. That was a very important thing and the Catholics wanted to have control over that land. It was simply an area of land that the Christians needed to have. The Christians were irritated because the Muslims and Jews had control over the holy land. They felt the land had to be theirs. And for that reason they fought for the land.
There were many reasons for the crusades such as adding land to the empire, to control the spread of Islam and to gain control of the holy land. Most of these reasons were for religious purposes but there were other non-religious reasons to.

3 comments:

  1. Peer Review
    1. Five paragraphs, but your first and last paragraphs were too short.
    2. Your thesis is very broad and you could expand more.
    3. You have no in-text citations and you really need a bibliography. You should definitely fix this.
    4. You do have good analysis in each body paragraph.
    5. Your conclusion could be a lot stronger and needs to be more detailed.
    6. You do put the strongest evidence in the last body paragraph.
    7. No personal pronouns, good work.
    8. It is very readable because there are no contractions.
    9. Most information is specific.
    10. There are no quotes and you need them for your paper.
    11. It seems that you understand your topic well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. No
    2. Put more detail in to your thesis with a stronger argument next to it
    3. No in-text citations or quotes and there is no APA Bibliography at the end.
    4. Make sure you bold the analysis and put more info into it.
    5. Make the conclusion longer to sum up the paper.
    6. I think that the strongest paragraph is the fourth paragraph.
    7. No personal pronouns are used.
    8. Good academic tone with no contractions used.
    9. The information is specific with good facts and ideas
    10. Try to put more information in the essay to make it stronger. The information currently is not adequate. Also, include the quotes in the essay.
    11. You used an original writing voice and it was honest. This essay needs more sentences and detail and with more information, the paper would be well written.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. Five paragraphs, but your first and last paragraphs were missing sentences.
    2. Your thesis is very broad and you could specify a bit more.
    3. You have no in-text citations and no bibliography.
    4. You do have good analysis in each body paragraph.
    5. Your conclusion could be stronger.
    6. Yes
    7. No personal pronouns, nice job.
    8. No contractions- Yes
    9. Most information is specific.
    10. There are no quotes and you must include them for your paper.
    11. Nice job on understanding the topic.

    ReplyDelete